What Do You Do?!

I find that question a bit annoying at this stage in my life. Fact is I am sick of being accused of being on welfare or feeling an obligation to explain to people how exactly I pay my bills. First of all let me say this, I am a WIDOW, not a baby mama. My husband always worked and when he died he left enough Social Security to take care of the kids and I for a few years so that I can get my shit together and there was other income left to help take care of us, but I cannot discuss that. 

Second, I'd like to remind those who know me and may have forgotten, right before Julian died I was working TWO full time jobs myself. He did ask me to quit the job at the gas station, but allowed me to stay on senior sitting my friend's mother  (actually, I worked nearly 60 to 70 hours a week senior sitting one individual). I am not a lazy person. I've weighed my options over the last 3 and a half years and THE most important thing to me at this very moment is to be with my youngest child while she is still a child. 

Third, I make a little bit from my own endeavors. I do not get food stamps and I pay my own medical bills, because despite what you've heard about "ObamaCare", I cannot afford it and cannot get it at a discounted rate, so I go to a cheap clinic so that I can at least receive 'scripts for my insulin and thyroid medications. I never borrow money from anyone to pay my bills and I am in debt to no one. If I don't have the money for something I want, I do without it. I manage to find inexpensive things to do locally with Daisy and my granddaughters. 

Don't hate on me because you think I'm taking something away from you. Know the facts before you start spitting your hate my way. 

To be honest, I do not want to work at Wal-mart or at some twenty-four hour gas station or as a nurse's aide. I'm too old and way too smart for that. I'm handling my business. I had a few bumps in the road slow me down over the last few years, but I'm catching momentum again. People who haven't done anything with their own lives and are stuck in a place they never wanted to be tend to want to break anyone and everyone else down and watch them fall. People like that sit back grinning at the thought that I might fail or that I might never be able to accomplish the goals I set for myself. I have my children, my grandchildren and good friends. I'm happy and enjoying every minute with my beautiful daughter, Daisy and I know that things will work out in time. I have the patience to see myself succeed and I don't really care if you're standing on the sidelines wishing for me to fail. 

And please, don't take this as a rant and feel you have to respond with something uplifting to say to me. This is really my way of empowering myself. I am not ashamed of where I am or where I'm headed. I do not use drugs. I do not drink. I'm not a law breaker. Why wouldn't I be proud of my journey? One day I will be able to look back at the road I traveled and smile because one thing I learned from my sweet Julian was "don't never worry 'bout what nobody says about you...just do what you got to do, mi amor...you are a mean woman and mean women survive..." 

I'm just gonna assume when he said mean, he really meant fierce. Yeah. I'm fierce, ya'll. Fierce.