Yeah. It's come the time that I want to get out there and meet new people. Well, I joined several online dating sites (of course, using the free membership, to start) and I am not at all happy with the way it is going with any of them. Julian and I were together for about 15 years and it seems things have changed drastically since then. There weren't really that many online dating sites and I had never tried one.
The way Julian and I met was chance, fate, something absolutely beautiful. We planted a friendship and grew a life together. It was wonderful, romantic and so innocent. He told me he loved me before we had even slept together. I didn't even know men could be so romantic until I met Julian. He was sweet, respectful and fun to be with.
I am amazed at the bravado of men nowadays. How can you talk so intimately to someone you haven't yet been intimate with ? And for that matter, why would you talk that way to someone if you truly want to build something from a friendship ? Is it really all about sex now ? No 'getting to know each other' first ? Really ?
I've grown quite fond of my self-respect now that I'm a little older and a little wiser and I refused to be used. It seems many men see my self-respect as me being a bitch. I mean, come on. Julian and I didn't even talk to each other that way until he began working out of state. That's when he initiated the sexting. I was flattered and I loved my husband's sexy talk. But we knew each other so very intimately that when he talked to me that way, it didn't feel wrong. Julian would say the most romantic things and I loved it. But I just cannot get into talking to a 'stranger' that way. It feels like smut talk to me. Some start off that way and I can kick them to the curb very quickly. Others will build up to it. Some gain my trust, get me to give them my phone number, then they lay on the smut !
I guess, I can just look at this as a learning experience, but I am trying so very hard not to let this sour me on men or dating altogether. At my age, I have earned the right to a decent, respectful friendship from a decent, respectful gentleman.