Friday, November 22, 2013

Sorrow

How do you describe sorrow ? Are there really any words to express what it feels like to feel the sorrow of losing someone you love ? Sorrow is heavy. Sorrow is a sick, painful feeling that seems to come out of nowhere, but you can feel it everywhere. You can feel sorrow in your bones; in your skin.

Sorrow crawls through your heart and makes you feel as though you're dying. Sorrow is the death of a future you had all planned out with the one you love. Sorrow is black, butterflies that infest your guts and make you feel like you want to vomit.

Sorrow is waking up and realizing that there is no one sleeping next to you at night. Sorry is fixing only one cup of coffee in the morning. Sorrow is the winter wind on your face instead of the good-bye kiss before he leaves for work.

Sorrow is wrapping your arms around yourself and pretending you're in his embrace. Sorrow is thinking you can hear his voice, when you're home alone. Sorrow is longing for the things that will never be - seeing the joy in his eyes when his children get married or watching the smile spread across his face when he holds his first grandchild.

Sorrow is watching his little girl's heart breaking because she misses her daddy - her best buddy. Sorrow is hearing her cry herself to sleep at night and wishing you could just take all of her pain yourself. Sorrow is missing that sparkle in her eyes, when her daddy would come through the front door.

Sorrow is the complete loss of joy. It is the feeling of being naked, but not the normal naked; it's naked without skin. Sorrow makes you raw and leaves you emotionally bleeding and bruised.

2 comments:

  1. Very good description, I can't even wrap my mind around your thoughts, your alone time, watching your children grieve and hearing their cries at night I can't even imagine your pain. But I do know one thing you are one strong Momma. You love your children so deeply and it shows in everything you do. You go without so they can have. My prayer for you is to find someone that treats you like the Princess that you are, I know Julian will never be replaced but i pray that you will find someone to help with the void and emptiness you feel. I pray that someone will hold your hand and hold you up when you become tired from being so strong. I would give ANYTHING if I could carry this for you for just one day even to give you a chance to catch your breathe. You are one strong and amazing woman. :)

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    1. No idea where the to be continued came from LOL This is Pam :)

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