I've been looking forward to and dreading this day for a few months now. Returning to school is actually a huge step for me. Even before Julian died, I wasn't much of a social being. After his death it was hard for me to cope with any type of social situation. I guess I had to get past my social anxiety the same way I've done most anything in my life - head-on and no looking back. I work through my personal reservations before I do a thing, but when I know I'm ready, I jump in and swim for dear life.
My first day of school was nowhere near as bad as I imagined it would be. First of all, I only had two classes to deal with and they went by fairly quickly. I loved everyone I met in the photography class - including the professor. We had a sort of musical chairs type meet and greet and it really helped lighten the mood. All of the other ladies I spoke to during our meet and greet are very kind and interesting people.
The sociology class that I'm taking has twice the number of student as my photography class and this actually made it much harder to get to know everyone. The class is in a cramped classroom and the professor is much more no nonsense than my photography professor.
When it comes down to what's most important about me returning to school, it isn't about acceptance or socializing. Returning to school is about working on a degree so that I can do something I absolutely love doing. It would be nice to be accepted and to form lasting bonds with some of my fellow students, but if that doesn't happen I'm not worried. I'm focusing on the big picture. I'm focusing on the betterment of me.
Tomorrow I have classes from 9 a.m. to about 6 PM. Deep breath. Exhale slowly. I've got this.